Where do I start? There’s so much to say that shouldn’t have to be said.

I witness on a daily basis how “boys” nowadays do not know how or simply choose not to pursue a woman correctly. The idea of pursuit in 2017 is going over to someone’s place to “chill” and we all know what that amounts to. “Chillin” is now an epidemic and it needs to be called what it is, and that is pure laziness.

It seems that long gone are the days of:

  • Asking a girl on an actual date.
  • Getting dressed up.
  • Going over to her house to pick her up.
  • Walking to the door to meet her parents.
  • Bringing her flowers.
  • Telling her she looks beautiful.
  • Walking her to the car and opening up the door.
  • Taking her to dinner.
  • Pulling out her chair.
  • Striking up a meaningful conversation or a silly one just to see her smile.
  • Actually listening to what she says.
  • Paying for her dinner without thinking twice.
  • Going to the movies or bowling — doing something fun.  
  • Taking her home and walking her to the door to nervously say how much fun you had and hoping she says the same.
  • Going home with butterflies in your stomach because the way she looked at you made your heart skip a beat.
  • Calling her the next day to see how she is and to let her know that you hope to see her again.

Instead…. this happens:

  • Let’s “hang out” or the infamous “Netflix and Chill” so she is left confused on what is actually going on (does he like her or not and does she not deserve to be taken out)?
  • Waiting in the car for her to come outside (if he actually decides to take her out).
  • No doors open and no chairs pulled out (because he thinks she can do it herself).
  • Bills are split because he doesn’t care (let’s be honest, he’s also cheap).
  • Dropping her off in the driveway and having her walk to the door alone (which ultimately shows he doesn’t care for her safety).
  • Expecting more at the end of the night than just a kiss on the porch (she isn’t your wife so stop expecting more).
  • No butterflies (because he is texting another girl on the way home).
  • No text or call the next day (because he has to play it cool, or he simply doesn’t care that much).

Sadly, this is real life.

Girls, I want to talk to you first. Please don’t waste your time with boys like this. They will only break your heart, and I promise you that you deserve so much more. Just wait for someone who loves you like Jesus does. He will bring you just that if you keep your eyes on Him. The MAN you deserve will pursue you!

Guys, sometimes I’m so ashamed to be a part of this grouping. I hear my sisters complain, my friends complain, and most others girls complain about all of the basics that you are lacking. If you aren’t in constant pursuit of her what do you think it’s going to be like after 5, 10, or even 15 years of marriage if you happen to make it that long? It’s going to be pretty dry and lackluster. You must pursue her like Christ pursued and loved the church. She deserves it, and truthfully you can do better.

I know there is probably so much more that needs to be said, but I hope this sparks some conversation between men and women alike. Men, do better. Women, don’t settle for men like this because they aren’t worth it.


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